The Pursuit of Porsha by Porsha Williams

Author:Porsha Williams [Williams, Porsha]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Worthy
Published: 2021-11-16T00:00:00+00:00

* * *

I should’ve known that something wasn’t right.

After spending a second night in the St. Regis, soaking up every last minute of our fairy-tale wedding, Kordell and I went our separate ways.

“Porsha, I need to go home and grab a few things before we go on our honeymoon. Why don’t you go home and grab some things as well?”

It sounded like a good plan to me, especially since we only lived across the street from each other. I felt fine wading my way through the lobby, pressing P in the elevator, and waiting patiently for the elevator to reach the top floor to my penthouse condo.

But as soon as I stepped inside my unit, reality had set in. It felt like I had walked into a funeral. I knew that my aunties used to say that when you get married, it’s almost like the death of your single life, but it felt like something else was happening here.

It felt like I had walked into a dead person’s home. It felt like every part of me was lost and I was literally terrified it’d be gone forever.

What the hell did I just do? What did I just become a part of ? I just walked away from everything—my business, this condo? Am I going to be okay? I just up and married this man after only a year and a half ! And I’m a mother now?!

I put my hand to my chest to try to steady and calm my breath, which I just couldn’t catch. It felt like I couldn’t breathe. And because it felt like I was choking, anxiety took over my entire body. Was I going to die the day after I got married? I couldn’t breathe. I put my back against the wall and slid down slowly to the floor, crying hysterically. And the tears fell, and fell, and fell hotly onto my cheeks even running down my neck. They wouldn’t stop. They wouldn’t stop.

Although I knew I was losing who I was in this relationship, I often felt more than happy to give it away. During this moment, however, it felt like the Porsha, my Porsha, that was still happy to be who she was and live how she wanted, was crying out, begging me to see how important she was, how valuable she was, how necessary she was. She didn’t want to give up. She didn’t want to hide. She didn’t want to whisper her real thoughts while saying what he wanted to hear aloud. She wanted to stay.

God, I thought you said this was my husband. Why am I feeling like this? God? God?

When I once felt so close to Him, I could simply close my eyes and hear from Him, this time He felt so far away. I couldn’t hear His voice.

So I shook it off.

It felt like a light switch had shut off. That’s how easily Kordell changed from being a doting, attentive fiancé to a mean-spirited controlling husband.

It didn’t take long to learn who Kordell really was.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.